Title: The Face You Call Mine.

Author: FDQ.

Warning: A bit of angst.

Rating: PG-13.

True love? A parody of love? What we share is indescribable. Unknown to me. It is for you too.

You’ve told me how much you love me. The words full of affection and emotions. The expression on your face just as full of love. It makes me shiver. I do believe that you truly love me. I just don’t understand why.

I’m everything but what I used to be. Everything has changed over the past couple of years since my band became famous. I’ve wanted to tell you but I just can’t find the courage. I don’t want to hurt you. But I keep doing it. I hurt you by keeping the truth from you.

Every time I wanna tell you then you look at me with those ocean blue eyes. So full of hope. Full of love. It tears me apart. I don’t want to be the cause of your tears anymore. And I know that if I let you know how I really feel then I’d break your heart.

What we share is indescribable, yes. For you it’s pure love. Plain and simple. I’m your everything. You tell me every day how you much I mean to you. That you’d die if we ever parted.

I’ve said the very same things to you. There was a time when the words meant something. Now it’s nothing but words to me. Words I should no longer say. But I keep saying what I shouldn’t.

I hate myself for this. I need to tell you how I really feel but I just can’t.

Lying like we are now. Wrapped in each other’s embrace. Feeling your warm fingers on my skin, the soft burst of breath on my neck. It feels good. Feels almost natural. But there is something that feels wrong. One thing has changed since the first time we we’re laying like this. It’s my feelings. I’ve fallen out of love.

As much as I care for you and want to love you, I just can’t anymore. My feelings have changed and I can’t help it anymore. I don’t know how long I can keep on pretending. Eventually you’ll know and you’d be heartbroken.

I remember the many times when we touched. The feel of your skin beneath my fingertips. The taste of your sweet lips. Everything was so perfect back then. Unlike now. You still lovingly touch me. Scorching my insides.

You’re still a great person. Still my best friend. I care about you. I just don’t love you anymore.

I’ve never really understood what you saw in me. Why you keep on loving me no matter how many times I hurt you. I can’t give you my love and still you give all the love you have only to me. But why?

You’re a beautiful girl. You’re like a dream. A dream I no longer dream. I don’t deserve you. You should have been anybody else’s but mine. I shouldn’t have someone I can’t even love.

I’m not worthy of the love you give me. I deserve none of it and you deserve the world. A world I can no longer give you. I have to let you go. Tell you the truth.

The truth I tried to run from, but no matter where I was the truth would always follow me. I can’t ignore it any more. It’s killing me. It’s killing you.

Somehow I don’t want to lose your friendship the day I tell you my true feelings. But somehow I want you to leave and never return. Never forgive me. Then at least I won’t hurt you again. After all it seems to be the only thing I can do.

I hurt everyone. I hurt myself. I hurt you.

I’m just not good enough to love you. That’s why I can’t anymore.