Title: Pans And Cookies.

Author: FDQ.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never have been. Never will be.

Warning: Some profanity and a bit silliness (hopefully).

Rating: PG-13.

Notes: This actually happened after a spelling error. My friend accidentally wrote “Pans” instead of “Pants” and “Dessert” instead of “Desert” *LOL* You get the picture, eh?

Chocolate eyes flickered wide open. Bill looked around, his vision a bit blurry. He blinked many times and rubbed his eyes harshly, trying to adjust his vision.

“Where am I?”

He was unable to recognize this place. Actually he had no problem with seeing WHAT place it was. It was more where and how the hell he had ended there!

He kneeled down, his vision still blurry. He traveled his fingers through the warm sand. A million tiny grains of sand floated away with the wind.

“How the hell did I get here?”

Bill was confused. He had no idea how he had ended in a desert. The last thing he remembered was that he had fallen asleep on the airplane while traveling to New York with Tom, Georg and Gustav.

Bill ran a hand through his silky hair, pulling it back. He exhaled deeply.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!”

He glanced down at himself, startled. He felt as if he was about to die right now! What the hell was this?! He was… he was… NAKED! Except from… PANS! He was wearing no clothes at all; the only thing he was wearing was frying pans! What the hell was going on?!

How did he get here and why the hell was he wearing… THIS?!

Somehow the pans were tied around his waist with some rope or something. Bill began tugging ineffectively at the ropes desperately trying to get the pans off! The damn knot was too tight! He tried and tried but he couldn’t untie the stupid rope!

After several minutes of intense struggling, Bill realized that it was next to impossible to get them off. He groaned in annoyance.

He couldn’t wear this! They were damn heavy! He had to get them off some way! Maybe there was a sharp stone buried in the sand! He began searching, digging through the hot sand with his hands. Nothing. There was nothing! Shit!

Bill could feel the need to break something in pure frustration, but since there were no damn things in this God forsaken place then he couldn’t even do that!

This was ridiculous! Humiliating! What if someone saw him? Like this! He would have to kill himself!

But who the hell would see him? There was nothing but sand! Bill spun around, glaring into the horizon, desperately hoping for someone to come and save him. He would die out there! Screw his umm… the way he looked. As long as he could get away from the desert.

But what… what was that? Something was approaching him! He couldn’t see what it was yet. It was only a bunch of dots so far. But they came closer pretty quick! It couldn’t be humans then. Maybe birds… or… wait a minute! Was that… what he thought it was?

“Oh, shit!”

Bill instinctively stepped backwards when he realized what was nearing him! It was… Flying cookies and cakes!

The flying cookies seemed to be heading straight for him. No it couldn’t be true. Bill closed his eyes, knowing that if he did so then he would wake up since this was obviously nothing but a dream.

He reopened his eyes, still standing in the desert, wearing pans with hundreds of evil minded cookies flying towards him! “Ok, screw this” Bill thought and began running as fast as he could, nearly tripping over his own feet as he ran down a small hill.

He ran and ran, gasping for air as the sun kept baking from above and the killer cookies still approaching, gaining on him behind him with every passing second!

Damn it was nearly impossible to run with these pans and it was so hot! Once again he tried to untie the damn rope around his waist, but failing again. He risked a glance back. The cookies were closer!

They were going to kill him! He was sure about that! They even had fangs! Shit! Oh God, they were definitely going to kill him and probably eat him afterwards! He knew he shouldn’t have eaten that last cookie earlier that day! He was really regretting doing that now!

He kept running, the cookies still gaining! He could barely breathe. He just wanted to fall down, but he knew if he did so then it was over with him!

This was so too scary!

Desert! Pans! Cookies! Bill felt dizzy, everything spinning around, swirling inside and outside his mind.

He couldn’t breathe anymore. He gasped for air before collapsing on the sand, chest heaving heavily as he tried to breathe. He could only watch while the cookies surrounded him like predators. He couldn’t do anything. Escape. Fight. Nothing.

His body was quivering lightly when the cookies attacked him.

He closed his eyes.

***

Chocolate eyes flickered wide open, a loud yelp escaping his lips as Bill woke up. Tom looked at him with concern. The rest of the plane just stared at him as if he was insane. He had apparently scared everyone when he woke up!

“Are you alright?” Tom questioned. Bill inhaled deeply before leaning back in his seat. It was only a dream. He nodded and wiped the sweat droplets away from his forehead with the back of his hand. “I’m ok… I just had a bad dream.”

“So it seems” Tom giggled, “What could have been so bad?”

Bill glared at him. “You’ll think I’m crazy if I told you!”

Tom shook his head, “No I wouldn’t. I’m your brother. Come on, tell me!” Tom’s curiosity had obviously increased.

“Ok…” Tom shifted in his seat as Bill began telling, “I dreamt that… it’s so stupid! That I was in the desert and… I was wearing frying pans instead of clothes and flying cookies were chasing me, trying to kill me!”

Tom looked strange. He didn’t know whether to laugh or be concerned for his brother. “Are you sure you’re alright?” Tom asked and placed his hand on Bill’s forehead to check if he was warm.

“I’m fine!” Bill exclaimed as he slapped Tom’s hand away. Tom nodded, “Okaaay! Then you ARE crazy!” he said and burst into uncontrollable laughter! Bill wanted to punch him! It wasn’t funny!

“Cookies!” Tom paused before he began laughing again. Cookies. Bill chuckled. Maybe Tom was right. It did seem kinda hilarious! Cookies. It was fucking silly. Bill sniggered, no longer able to keep himself from laughing. That must have been the most messed up dream he had ever had! It had seemed sorta frightening, but it was actually nothing but a stupid, ridiculous dream.

Cookies and pans! He must have lost his mind!